Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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