Say something about gay babies.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I supernannyed him into submission
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
