We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
