So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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