I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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