im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
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I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize