We're like a lot better than the average bears
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
