would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
