i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
