we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
