saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
