awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
