is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
