you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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