My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
