i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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