i would punch a child for taco bell
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
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You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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