all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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