so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
