sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
