First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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