I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
