ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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