my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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