Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
