What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize