forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
