I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize