Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
