part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
