I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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