is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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