you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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