So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
not ubering you a puppy
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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