The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
