she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
