He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
