help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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