i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
