Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
