hell yes lets make some ravioli
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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