I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
