I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
