Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
