I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
