Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I believe in your delicious
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
