dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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