I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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