It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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