just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
