I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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