Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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