I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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