Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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