i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
