if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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