Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
