yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
