Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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