This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
