Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
