i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
