Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
