My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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